A Child, A Mom, A Wife

You ever overhear a conversation or see something that makes you reflect on your life? Today was one of those days for me.

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance. ~ 

Bruce Barton

Every year growing up my mother would send me to visit my father in Puerto Rico for the summer and as a little girl I would sit on the bed and watch him get ready to hit the town with whatever girlfriend he had at the moment, because my dad was a ladies man; married and divorced seven times...yep SEVEN. When he couldn't get my grandmother to watch me on certain nights he would take me with him to what he called his "friends" house and I sat in the living room while he and his friend "talked" I learned early on that women had a hard time saying no to my father and that although he was and still is a very handsome man he wasn't always the best example. He spent hours getting ready, only ordered his clothing from catalogs (International Man, lol) and always made sure to look his best. He taught me to moisturize before going to bed and that taking care of oneself was imperative if you wanted to "catch" In reality all I learned from him was that I didn't want to end up with a man like him. He was charming, handsome, funny and witty but certainly not a one woman man.

My mother on the other hand was a hard working single mom who at times worked two full time jobs to care for me and always made sure I had great looking clothes, toys, shoes and anything else I may have wanted. However, that sometimes meant that I was on my own for the better part of most days or with my grandmother and so I learned pretty early on to be independent.  I know that my mother tried her best and I know that I was a difficult kid who thought the world owed me something and that I could do what I wanted and no one was going to tell differently and so at 15 I ran away from home  and never went back.

It wasn't until I was a single teenage mom at 16 that I realized exactly how hard my mother worked, how hard it must have been for her and how much I took her for granted. It wasn't until then that I really knew the sacrifices she had made to raise me. I had a really hard time as a teenage mom and I made awful decisions, I didn't take very good care of myself but did as best I could to provide for my daughter. Looking back now as a 36 year old woman I don't know how I did it but I thank god that I had it in me to be more and want more. I went from one bad relationship to another and dated men that were abusive but said they loved me, they were lazy and selfish and just plain mean sometimes but I was so beat down emotionally and sometimes physically to realize then that I deserved better. I was better then that! and no matter what I had seen as a child, experienced as a child and was taught as a child there was a cycle I needed to break if I wanted to save my daughter from that same viscous decline and that I couldn't continue to blame everyone and everything for the situation I was in.

Now I will admit that being a mom that early in life makes it nearly impossible to be a "good parent" because honestly I didn't know what the hell I was doing and I know I made mistakes and bad choices but everyday I tried a little harder to create a life I could be proud of. Years came and went, bad things happened, sometimes good things happened, relationships came and went, jobs came and went and then I just stopped. I went to work everyday and took care of my responsibilities and that is all I had space for in my life until that day in June many years ago.

When I met my husband I thought there was something wrong with him because there was no way that a man could be that good. It took years for me to realize that he WAS that good and it was genuine and more importantly that the way he treated me was exactly what I deserved. I was and am his queen. He takes care of me and our kids better then I ever thought possible and he loves us from the core as we love him. My kids get to see everyday what a good healthy relationship looks like and how husbands and wives are supposed to treat each other. We still make out like teenagers, he grabs my butt cheek as I walk by and we laugh hysterically together for hours....okay TMI I know, LOL

My daughters get to see what a man is suppose to look like, act like, be like and that if the boys don't come close to  being like daddy they simply don't qualify. My sons see how a man is to treat a woman and provide for his family. They will learn that respect and honor go both ways and that you must treat people the way you want to be treated, don't accept anything less then you are worth. Take pride in yourself and what you pass on to others.  It took me meeting my husband to learn that it was okay for me to love myself but It may be different for others, it may be a friend or a relative or a conversation with god. 

My kids have the luxury of a stable home life and parents that love each other but that may not always be the case for everyone so it is up to us as individuals to make the changes we want to see in our lives, it doesn't matter how you started out it only matters how you finish and if you see someone who could use a hand or an encouraging word pass it along.  Don't let the hardships in your life dictate your future because all it takes to be successful is effort and hard work and every now and then a little help from others ;-) 

xoxo

Mimi G