Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Child, A Mom, A Wife


You ever overhear a conversation or see something that makes you reflect on your life? Today was one of those days for me.

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance. ~ 
Bruce Barton


Every year growing up my mother would send me to visit my father in Puerto Rico for the summer and as a little girl I would sit on the bed and watch him get ready to hit the town with whatever girlfriend he had at the moment, because my dad was a ladies man; married and divorced seven times...yep SEVEN. When he couldn't get my grandmother to watch me on certain nights he would take me with him to what he called his "friends" house and I sat in the living room while he and his friend "talked" I learned early on that women had a hard time saying no to my father and that although he was and still is a very handsome man he wasn't always the best example. He spent hours getting ready, only ordered his clothing from catalogs (International Man, lol) and always made sure to look his best. He taught me to moisturize before going to bed and that taking care of oneself was imperative if you wanted to "catch" In reality all I learned from him was that I didn't want to end up with a man like him. He was charming, handsome, funny and witty but certainly not a one woman man.

My mother on the other hand was a hard working single mom who at times worked two full time jobs to care for me and always made sure I had great looking clothes, toys, shoes and anything else I may have wanted. However, that sometimes meant that I was on my own for the better part of most days or with my grandmother and so I learned pretty early on to be independent.  I know that my mother tried her best and I know that I was a difficult kid who thought the world owed me something and that I could do what I wanted and no one was going to tell differently and so at 15 I ran away from home  and never went back.

It wasn't until I was a single teenage mom at 16 that I realized exactly how hard my mother worked, how hard it must have been for her and how much I took her for granted. It wasn't until then that I really knew the sacrifices she had made to raise me. I had a really hard time as a teenage mom and I made awful decisions, I didn't take very good care of myself but did as best I could to provide for my daughter. Looking back now as a 36 year old woman I don't know how I did it but I thank god that I had it in me to be more and want more. I went from one bad relationship to another and dated men that were abusive but said they loved me, they were lazy and selfish and just plain mean sometimes but I was so beat down emotionally and sometimes physically to realize then that I deserved better. I was better then that! and no matter what I had seen as a child, experienced as a child and was taught as a child there was a cycle I needed to break if I wanted to save my daughter from that same viscous decline and that I couldn't continue to blame everyone and everything for the situation I was in.

Now I will admit that being a mom that early in life makes it nearly impossible to be a "good parent" because honestly I didn't know what the hell I was doing and I know I made mistakes and bad choices but everyday I tried a little harder to create a life I could be proud of. Years came and went, bad things happened, sometimes good things happened, relationships came and went, jobs came and went and then I just stopped. I went to work everyday and took care of my responsibilities and that is all I had space for in my life until that day in June many years ago.

When I met my husband I thought there was something wrong with him because there was no way that a man could be that good. It took years for me to realize that he WAS that good and it was genuine and more importantly that the way he treated me was exactly what I deserved. I was and am his queen. He takes care of me and our kids better then I ever thought possible and he loves us from the core as we love him. My kids get to see everyday what a good healthy relationship looks like and how husbands and wives are supposed to treat each other. We still make out like teenagers, he grabs my butt cheek as I walk by and we laugh hysterically together for hours....okay TMI I know, LOL

My daughters get to see what a man is suppose to look like, act like, be like and that if the boys don't come close to  being like daddy they simply don't qualify. My sons see how a man is to treat a woman and provide for his family. They will learn that respect and honor go both ways and that you must treat people the way you want to be treated, don't accept anything less then you are worth. Take pride in yourself and what you pass on to others.  It took me meeting my husband to learn that it was okay for me to love myself but It may be different for others, it may be a friend or a relative or a conversation with god. 

My kids have the luxury of a stable home life and parents that love each other but that may not always be the case for everyone so it is up to us as individuals to make the changes we want to see in our lives, it doesn't matter how you started out it only matters how you finish and if you see someone who could use a hand or an encouraging word pass it along.  Don't let the hardships in your life dictate your future because all it takes to be successful is effort and hard work and every now and then a little help from others ;-) 


xoxo
Mimi G






190 comments:

  1. Preach on and let the choir say Amen! XOXO

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  3. Mimi, this is absolutely BEAUTIFUL and heart-warming. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes MANY bad situations for us to end up in a good one and this is my prayer because Lord knows I'm tired of the bad ones.

    Thank you for sharing this part of you with us. Thank you for your personal encouragement.

    You are beautiful and blessed.

    Olivia

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  4. What a beautiful story. I was getting teary-eyed. Thanks for sharing. More peace, love, and blessings to you!

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  5. Oh Mimi each day I read your blog, I love and respect you more. You young lady are a fine example of womanhood, an artist and such a good human being. You should be so proud, I just can't say enough!

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  6. Thank you for sharing your realness and by sharing you will help so many young mothers that are having a hard time getting through life. May God continue to Bless you and your family.

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  7. I love this post so much. We have so much in common and I have a similar story! I had my first son at 17 but now have a PHD and have a great husband. I am so glad you shared this!!! You're an amazing person!

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    1. Fantastic! so proud and happy for you too!

      xoxo

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  8. You're so right---it doesn't matter where you start but where you finish. How profound. Sounds like you've got alot of wisdom to share with others (smile). Many blessings to you and your family!!!!

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  9. Thank you for being so transparent. People may look at someone as fly as you (and you really!) and never believe you've been through the things you have. That's a testimony right there! May God continue to bless and you and your family.

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  10. wow a very honest and inspiring post, thank you for sharing, wish you and your beautiful family all the best! x

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  11. This is so beautifully written. So many teens need to hear this message. You do not have to follow the bad example of those before you.

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  12. You made me laugh and cry all at once! Thanks for your post. xoxo G

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  13. What a WONDERFUL post! Thank you for sharing Mimi! -- it was BEAUTIFUL! I wish all the joy and happiness that your heart can hold! You should be very proud of the life that you have made for yourself. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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  14. Powerful! I loved this, Mimi! What an example you are to so many of us!

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  15. Amazing... Thank you for sharing. You're a very impressive woman - that's apparent just from how you "carry yourself," how you touch others, and how much you enjoy giving so much of yourself. Your style goes beyond fashion, and shines through your fashion sense. It is also abundantly apparent that you and your husband share a good bond, and he makes you pleased with yourself. He's impressive too.:) All the best to you and yours. Sincerely, Daryl

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  16. Oh wow. I so enjoyed reading your story. My life was much different, some great days and some really bad. I had a step father at an early age, that walked into me and my sisters lives. We are lucky to have had him. He is now gone, but he was amazing man, 32 years older than my mom. I am glad you shared your story. Again, thanks.

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  17. Such an amazing and inspiring story . I'm sooooo happy for you , your husband and your kids ! Thanks for sharing.
    xxx
    Dawn from Miami

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  18. Mimi this was so inspiring after 10 years of bad relationships I met my fiance and am planning my wedding. You are sooooo right! It only matters how we finish.

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  19. wow, this goes right along with what I blogged about today (not a shameless plug, I promise). I talked about therapy and how I had to use it to help me get rid of my baggage from my previous in order to have a successful one now. Good reads today. I really enjoyed it.

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  20. Very, VERY well said!! My parents provided the example that you are providing for your children and I wish I would ever consider being with a man who isn't as good to me as my daddy is to my mom!!

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  21. Wow! What a great post!! I appreciate the transparency. And what you said at the end about where you start & how you finish is so true. (^_^)

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  22. Thank you! I needed to read that this evening. I wish you and your family all the love that can be had as I do for myself and every family on this earth.

    Thank you for sharing something soo personal soo close to home. thanks for sharing yourself.

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  23. Thank you! I needed to read that this evening. I wish you and your family all the love that can be had as I do for myself and every family on this earth.

    Thank you for sharing something soo personal soo close to home. thanks for sharing yourself.

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  24. Bravo Hun <3
    Very well put on so many levels....
    You are even cooler than I thought.

    Thank you for being so real and so you... Stay blessed

    MATI

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  25. This was amazing. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself.

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  26. Mimi that was a very sincere proclamation as you shared a deeper part of yourself. As I read your life’s journey I could feel your past pain and struggles but also your life’s joy. You have a beautiful family, you’re extremely talented, and you are an inspiration to so many people. God has got your back!

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  27. I love this! It takes a lot to truly open up and invite people into your world. I'm glad you realized that you deserved better,that there was more out there for you,and that good men really exist.

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  28. That was an awesome read. And very brave of you to share your story with us. Thanks for that.

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  29. Amen!! My hubby and I will make 14 years in May. People just don't get it. If you are KIND to each other EVERY DAY and don't feel any kind of resentment (= relationship poison), you will have a truly happy life. Well done and keep this good thing going xx

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  30. There is power in words woman and that touched my heart. Reminded me a lot of my mom's story. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

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  31. Amen!!! Going on 14 years married this year, I can truly testify to the fact that you need to be KIND to each other. Best friends and nothing less. If you feel the tiniest bit of resentment (=poison in a relationship) you need to purge it - communicate!! - before the rot sets in.

    Well done and congratulations on awesome communication, and long may it continue with you and your kids xxxxx

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  32. Very honest and open which is admirable. The evolution of becoming a real woman is pretty incredible :)

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    1. Nikki, gurl, I really like your comment! It truly is pretty dang incredible.

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  33. Thank you for sharing your story. My life has been very different from yours, but I am so thankful to my husband, too, because who he is has grown me into a better person (and vice versa).

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  34. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think women need to hear things like this as an example of how trials can be overcome and happiness can be found. You are awesome.

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  35. The road of life leads us through so many situations and circumstances, but to walk through the fire and come out bronzed is a beautiful thing! Thats why its so improtant to give back, because you never know what someone else is going or have gone through!

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  36. The road of life leads us through so many situations and circumstances, but to walk through the fire and come out bronzed is a beautiful thing! Thats why its so improtant to give back, because you never know what someone else is going or have gone through!

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  37. Wow Mimi, this is amazing ... I m so touched about what you re saying ... wow ... I think I m too emotional to say anything, but let me try:

    Thank you for those words, I think you are a beautiful person, a beautiful mother, and wow ... I can see how hard you tried and you made it for YOU and your daughter, this is so beautiful. A good heart person like you WAS gonna find the one, God is always watching after his children ...

    Blessings Mimi, forgive my english (I m french). I had not a very beautiful childhood like you, I m 35 and still not married, still hoping to find a good man, and your words just make me believe I m going to find him. THANK YOU MIMI from my heart. Blessings for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you so much and I am so glad my word could help! he is coming! xoxox

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  38. Mimi, again with the honesty! Your ability to share truly humbles me.

    Thank you so much.

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  39. This is beautiful Mimi. Thanks for reminding your readers that life's not always roses and rainbows but all things work together for good! I seriously adore you Mimi!

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  40. Thank you so much for sharing, this is truly a testimony and I am so glad that it was placed on your heart to share it with us. Many times life happens and we become so ashamed of our truth but you have defied that. You are graceful and wise and for that I am grateful.

    Chrissy

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  41. Thank you so much for sharing, this is truly a testimony and I am so glad that it was placed on your heart to share it with us. Many times life happens and we become so ashamed of our truth but you have defied that. You are graceful and wise and for that I am grateful.

    Chrissy

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  42. very honest and pure and truthful..thank you for sharing that part of you with me ...us :) i can only admire you more and more!! keep shining gal!!!

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  43. as children, our duty is to break the terrible cycles of our parents. you triumphed, you are blessed. x

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  44. hi mimi i real learn from u u'r so nice but let me tell u one thing inorder to reach any archivement u pass through many obstacles and since God is there for u the result w'l always be positive thax God u reach where u wishes.Best wishes in all u'r life

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  45. God bless you, Mimi. You are fierce!

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  46. God bless you, Mimi. You are fierce!

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  47. Thanks SO much for your testimony...I needed this. God bless

    Lin

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  48. Wow! I always respected your style and artistry but now I see the story behind it and have an even GREATER respect for your hustle and determination. You always have a fan here!

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  49. VERY MUCH INSPIRING MIMI.. IT ENCOURAGES ONE TO MOVE ON NO MATTER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES... IM DEEPELY TOUCHED

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  50. I really enjoyed reading every word. It was brave and kind of you to share, thank you. I like what Nikki said too, the evolution of becoming a real woman is pretty incredible. It truly is.

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  51. Damn! you made eyes tear up. I came on your page looking for a pattern review and found something to help me "deal". thank you

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  52. thank you so much for sharing this personal story. i feel enlightened and blessed.

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  53. That was a great testimony and someone needed this message at this time. Powerful, true and relatable words for all woman to read and know that we are truly special and deserve to be treated that way.

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  54. The road to womanhood can definitely be challenging and yet fulfilling at the same time. Be proud of yourself that you made it. Everything you experienced made you the woman that you are today. Thanks for sharing.

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  55. Mimi, simply, thank you. Whenever I comment on your blog, I'm thanking you because you are inspiring, talented, and not afraid to share all that you are with us. I appreciate the message of self worth, self love, and empowerment that you share. So many women need to hear it and know that they are worth so much more. I'm so happy that you finally recognized that you deserved more and have a loving marriage and family life. Once again, thank you for showing that what truly matters is not where we come from but the choices we make, and that we have the power to choose who we want to be.

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  56. Martha (Onesmartlady87)November 8, 2012 at 6:16 AM

    Hey Ms. Mimi -

    Thanks for sharing! You had me laughing and crying at the same time. So heartwarming and open and honest! Like I mentioned in my tweet to you - this is why your followers love you and will continue to love and support you! You're already blessed and more blessing are coming your way!

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  57. I so needed to see this post today! I'm at the point in my life where I am realizing my self worth and taking steps to become a better person. Thank you for your encouraging words.

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  58. I absolutely <3 this & needed this...

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  59. That is a beautiful and inspiring story, Mimi! I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing!

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  60. Well said. Although I'm not a mother or wife, I understand exactly what you're talking about. I was in a 7 1/2 year unfilling relationship. What I learned from that relationship is that I KNOW what I DON'T want in the next relationship. Until I meet the person that can treat me the way I deserve be treated and give me want I want, I've decided to take this time for "ME". Thanks for sharing your story.

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  61. Mimi that was right on time. Thank You

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  62. Thanks for sharing...that was needed. You are simply inspiring. Stay humble. I now know what it means when they say...."you see my GLORY but you don't know my STORY".

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  63. Very heartfelt, beautiful & motivating!

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  64. Wow, what a beautifully stated and powerful testimony! Thank you for sharing... I am going to share this with every women (young and old) that I can. Continued blessings, Dawn

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  65. OMG Mimi....I’m speechless. I don’t even know where to begin. Our story is somewhat similar....I'm 36 with an 18yr old daughter and 2 younger kids....excluding the husband, but I know without a shadow of a doubt he is on his way home and will accept me & my kids :-). Your story and many others have truly blessed me and has been very inspiring. Thank you Mimi for your transparency and the reassurance that you have imparted in me!!!

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    1. Thank you Kim and I am so glad my story can help!

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  66. This is such a wonderfully honest blog entry. Thank you for opening your life to us. You should add "brave" to your characteristics, given how you've shared your soul.

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  67. I heart you, Mimi! Thank you for sharing that, my respect for you grows and grows. I have pretty much the opposite home life as you and had my first baby at age 34, but I still have no idea what I'm doing raising my girls! LOL. Mistakes are not just born of youth, right? But every day I just say to myself, look, you've got another chance, try harder, do better.

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    1. I heart you too June! you are doing fine I am sure of it.

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  68. Thank you for sharing your story!!! It was the encouraging words I needed today, God bless.

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  69. Awesome testimony Mimi - thanks for sharing!

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  70. Mimi that is really heartfelt, was a beautiful and very powerful post. I have had a hard time myself, from an abusive childhood to now having my own child who i love dearly and unfortunately being physically abused by his father this very year. I am still in the process of healing mentally and emotionally...all the physical marks are gone. But it is inspirational to know that you have been through so much and was able to find a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Thank you for sharing your story, really appreciated.

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    1. Sheree Im so sorry to hear that, I hope you have removed yourself and your son from that situation and that you are safe. I will pray for you doll! xoxo

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    2. Thank you Mimi. Yes I have, completely moved out the same night, just knew I wasn't going back. Currently working hard and pushing on for a better future. My son gives me strength :)

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  71. Thank you for sharing and your encouraging words

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  72. That post showed your absolute beauty in life. Thank you so much for sharing that.

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  73. You are an encouragement to young and old women everywhere. It must have taken a lot of courage to be so raw and candid in your post. However, know this; your story helped someone. You know never know what people are going, or have been, through. However, reading your strong and real testimony might have given the hope. I don't know you but I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. For not only overcoming your own trials, but for also using this platform to share your story with others. Take care, Ms. Mimi.

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  74. Love this post. Thanks for sharing.

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  75. Thanks for sharing your amazing story. It is so inspiring.

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  76. Thank you for sharing your story, Mimi. It touches on a lot of important points. You are an inspiration. xoxo

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  77. Wow, Mimi, that was so well said!!! I could definitely second that emotion. My life as a child and youth was very broken and chaotic. I still bare the scars (literally).I also had to learn to be independent at a very young age. My father, too, was a lady's man and while married he was never faithful to them. My mother was on drugs most of her life so I never had a real good example of a mother. Life was rough. If it had not been for God who saw me and cleansed me, I don't know where I would have been, for sure. Now, at 34, I have been married for over 12 years and our relationship is much like you described your own. My hubby and I often wonder if others have a marriage like ours. I also have a son who is 9 years old and was are two peas in a pod. LOL. I haven't by any means arrived yet, but I really appreciate the life that God has given me. It really helps to erase the life that I had growing up. By the way, this is the reason why I love your blog so much. You are sooo Real and I love that.
    Victoria

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  78. Dear Mimi,

    Thank you for sharing your story, I am so Inspired by you that I wanted to share it on my Blog too.
    http://www.pinkelephanttv.com/2012/11/inspired-by-mimi-goodwin.html

    All the best.
    Nadia.

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  79. Wow! what a beautiful story Mimi! God gives beauty for ashes. it is so inspiring to know that the cycle can be broken. Praising God for you and your family. XOXO

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  80. Awesome Post! It is wonderful when we learn lessons and are not afraid to look back and know that life has made each of us challenge ourselves. I applaud you because it's so easy to and hurtful to give up but, when we hang in there and knuckle up the reward is well worth it. You and your husband great role models for your children and that's what counts.

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  81. Mimi, thank you so much for sharing your powerful story. You are an inspiraton to others.

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  82. I SO love you a million times more for this. Hit me. On too many levels.

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  83. Thank you for being fearless, courageous, and real. I read your blog daily though I rarely comment but I had to say something and that something is thank you. I thank you for your honesty, transparency, and kindness to put yourself "out there" knowing that it could help someone else. You've got style for sure but also substance. Stay gorgeous inside and out!

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  84. Bless you for sharing your story! Continued good things for you and your family.

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  85. what a wonderful post.
    i know it has encouraged somebody out there.

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  86. A heart felt story - very encouraging!

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  87. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It takes a lot of caring and courage to open oneself up this way especially on the net. You rock!

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  88. Mimi, I'm so sorry for all the hurt you've had in the past and I'm so happy for all the blessings you have! Thanks for sharing, you didn't have to. I can so relate to making a lot of mistakes and having so many blessings too. Thank you, I will pray that God continues to bless you and your family. I have nothing but best wishes for you! Keep all the great fashion coming, and sharing yourself, I think it's liberating and very brave!
    XOXO, Diane

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  89. Powerful post. It is so important to reiterate that our futures are only dictated by ourselves.

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  90. Sue from Christchurch NZNovember 9, 2012 at 12:43 AM

    Hi Mimi
    You are an inspiration . You never know what people have gone through in their lives but you are proof that once you have someone who truly loves you the world is your oyster. I read your blog every day. In fact it is the first thing I do when I get to work. Life has been pretty hard here in Christchurch New Zealand with over 11,000 earthquakes since September 2010, but your blog makes me start my day with inspiration to sew again and life does get better.

    Have a wonderful weekend. LOL Sue wardell22@hotmail.com

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  91. Im glad I chose to visit your blog before my day started, very encouraging and powerful!!!!

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  92. Dear Mimi, May the peace and blessings from the Almighty bless you for writing this piece! I know so many women can relate in some way but as I was reading the tears came and this touched me really deep. I was not a young mom as you were but there was alot hurt in my life that is affecting me today. I am married to an amazing man who treats me and the kids so well but for some reason I feel as though I am not deserving of this love.....I never make time for me but today your words spoke to me that it is ok to be worthy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and blessings to you and your family. Love Always!

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  93. This was beautiful & I'm so glad you found your King who would treat you like a Queen. I love that quote, "it doesn't matter how you started out it only matters how you finish"!

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  94. Great post, very touching....

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  95. Dear Mimi, my friends always say that God talks to us through various means.I don't know what inspired you to write this message this week, but I want to believe it was meant for me. Your message has lifted my spirits more than you can imagine. I have been very depressed lately, and the words you used " it doesn't matter how you started out it only matters how you finish" are like a balm on my troubled heart right now. Thank you so much. I am very grateful.

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  96. I have only recently come upon your blog and mused about how beautiful you are. Now I know you are also beautiful inside also- and quite brave to put it "all out there" for your readers.

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  97. Beautiful Story Very Inspiring...May God continue to bless you and your family

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  98. I think everyone has said it all, but thanks for the message, Mimi. It reminded me of how truly blessed I am to have a GOOD man in my life. One I've been married to for over 28 years, who still loves and takes care of me and our boys. Sometimes we get complacent and take others for granted, but every night I thank God for him, because like yours, my father was "out there" too.

    I'm SO glad you found your blessing(s) and keep up the great work. My niece and I love your blog.

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  99. Mimi, you are absolutely beautiful! Yes on the outside, but your beauty radiates from the inside out. Thank you for letting us into your life, once again and sharing your story. You are truly amazing! #inspirational#motivational

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  100. Mimi, you're an amazing woman in so many ways. Thank you for this post, it brought tears to my eyes.

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  101. I came here more by accident to look at your fabulous outfits, wishing I could be a little bit more daring in my personal style. Reading this post, I just had to tell you you're an awsome person and a great role model.

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  102. Not sure if you read old posts but this post touched me so I writing with tears in eyes! Eventhough I am older than you ive been that young single mother struggling to fine love but ended up downbeated & disappointed. Begging a man to marry me so that my children could have what I thought was a nornal family. Ended in cheating & infidelity! Other unhealthly relationships later my focus is knowing my worth! Thank you thank you thank you. You dont how much your blogs makes me feels so good about myself. From your fashion tips & just you words your warm spirit resonates on paper. GOD BLESS YOU MIMI. IM BLESSED TO HAVE FOUND YOUR SITE!!!!

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  103. this is funny, I ran across your picture about 6 months ago and someone compared me to you... well as far as color schemes go and to hear the words "its not how you start but how you finish"..... I have tears in my eyes now because I feel like no one understands what I'm feeling... but Thank you!!! I needed to read this.

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  104. I am a big fan of yours! I see how God can take a bad situation, turn it around and use it to motivate others. Thanks for sharing and inspiring. I can't stop crying... tears of JOY!

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  105. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a real inspiration. Stay bless and I am loving your clothing and styles.

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Thank you for taking time to comment ;-)

xoxo
mimi g.